To the person I will be in 2025

Dear Sunita—

Take what you’ve learned the last 12 months, 24 months, 10 years, even 37 years. Use it to be kind to yourself in new ways.

Do less—yes, less than that. Mark off days in your calendar with “don’t make plans,” and then actually don’t make plans. Take more naps. Let Saturday mornings be lazy.

Play more board games with your husband - yes, even the ones where he is super competitive. Listen to more audiobooks and podcasts.

Go for more walks with the people you love. Go for more walks alone. Lift heavier weights. Try to remind yourself that you love burpees, and maybe one day you will love the burpees.

Work outside more in the spring, and replace the fan on your porch. Learn to identify bird calls—it’s not nerdy and it will bring wonder and delight to your mornings with your children.

Photo by Adaobi B on Unsplash

Keep learning about autism and ADHD, about neurodiversity, about disability theology. Keep sharing what you learn.

Take the children on regular hikes and nature walks. Use the memberships you pay for, even if you only get to spend an hour somewhere.

Write more, but don’t quit if you can’t do it every day. Remember the things that bring you delight, and do more of them. Notice the things that only bring you discomfort—do less of them.

Don’t persist in an incomplete home office and homeschool space. Paint with bold colors. Assemble bookshelves. Buy the fun decorations. Don’t unnecessarily put your back through sitting on the floor or in the uncomfortable chair in the kitchen.

Don’t neglect your garden in favor of work. The work will always be there, but the spring and summer only have so much time to give you. Sprout the seeds your son keeps asking about, even if you never see a real tomato. Don’t beat yourself up when the wild animals eat your strawberries.

Photo by Oliver Hale on Unsplash

Use more of the rosemary and the sage growing like weeds next to your porch. Plant basil. Remember, you are nourishing tiny lives both inside and outside your home.

Have a little treat from time to time. Make more soup, even if it doesn’t feel seasonally appropriate. Bake the bread when you want to. Say f*ck the bread when you need to. Invest in better cake decorating tools. Make sure to do the maintenance on your fancy mixer.

Call your family more often. Call your husband’s family, too. Write down the stories they tell you. Save them for your children, too.

Take your children to the dentist, even when they’re scared. Remind them that you’re there to help them be brave, not just at the dentist but in all things. Advocate for your children, and learn from them how to advocate for yourself.

Put your phone down more often. Forget where you left it. Notice what interests your family and learn all about it. Make it part of your school day. Build more connection. Build more forts.

Hold hands with your husband and children whenever they ask. Draw more with your daughter. Read more with your son. Be more patient with both of them. Be patient with yourself.

Pray out loud with both of your children, too. Pray alone more often. Pray when things feel difficult. Pray when things feel abundantly joyful, too. Pray when you’re not sure what to do.

Give thanks. Grieve fully. Be generous with your time and your affection. Love bigger and harder than you ever have before. It will return to you.

It will return to you.